ah, community

one of the reasons i eagerly anticipated seminary was because of gulf drive. i love living here. i don't like living here. it's wonderful. it's really hard. before you think i've lost my yonkers let me explain. i have met really cool people who are in the same stage of life as i, who are in the same boat as i, (married, husband is a seminary student, kiddo at home, not sure where we're going next...), and who love Jesus and are passionate about the gospel going forth into all the world.
i can't do and say what i want when i want. i can't yell at bryan on my way out the front door, 'i said you left your keys on your desk which are now under the mail! seriously, how do you do anything without me," only to slam the front door behind me and step out onto my porch where seven neighbors are enjoying each other's company. 'oh, hi,' i can politely smile and laugh, pretending that i was just joking with the way i just berated my husband for being forgetful. but they will see right through it, (should i ever find myself in such a predicament which hasn't happened yet, really, it hasn't).
but in three short months i've already grown to love these girls. i adore them for their honorable lives as wives and moms, for their desire to know me in spite of myself and how little i have to offer them, and for their challenging me to live the gospel that i say i believe. being a pastor's wife is going to be messy. i am going to have to live my life in front of a lot of people, all the time, watching me when i'm stressed to see how i respond, watching me in my home which will be a place of frequent social events. it's tiring for a person who gets her energy from being alone. heck, it's tiring being married to someone who gets his energy from socializing! but it's all preparing for what's to come, not just after seminary, but i believe this is what heaven will be like...except without the fear and dread of my sin's exposure.
thanks for loving me, girls. you make me laugh.