permit me to complain?

mya and i just returned home from target. we ventured out to make a return on a purchase i had made last week. i bought, on sale, a darling beverage dispenser to use at an event i am hosting. i got home, unpacked my items, eager to try out the new beverage dispenser.

after giving the dispenser a test run, i realized for various reasons that i didn't like it. so off we went this morning to bring it back to target, used.

i have learned in the past, and forgotten, that returning items to target is not an easy task. only in those other difficult situations i was trying to return something without a receipt and told i had a limit of 3 receipt-less returns per lifetime. trader joes? you can half eat a cantelope and tell them it tastes funny and they'll refund your money. no problem. bed, bath, and beyond? they fall all over themselves apologizing that the blender you got for a wedding present 8 years ago no longer works as they hand you a brand new one. so why does target have such attitude in a similar situation?

i walk up to the return merchandise counter where, 'phil', whose every hair was perfectly combed and locked in place, greeted me. i said, 'i'd like to return this item i bought last week. i used it, and didn't like it.' he says, 'no problem.' after fiddling around with the cash register, he asks again, 'why do you want to return it?' i repeated, 'i just don't like it'. 'why', he presses. 'the dispenser is about 4 inches from the bottom of the canister. that's a lot of liquid wasted that won't dispense. i don't like that.' so he says, 'oh, you used it?' 'yes, phil, that's how i know i don't like it.' 'oh', says phil, 'well, we're not supposed to take any products back that hold food or liquid and have been used.' i just looked at him. he calls his boss over and explains the situation to his boss. his boss repeats, 'you used it?' 'yes.' 'we're not supposed to take anything back that has been used for food or liquid because it's been contaminated.' i reply, 'yes, phil has informed me. i guarantee you it is cleaner now than it was when i bought it.' (as if the delivery truck it came in on was clean.)

the boss man continues, 'why don't you like it?' i reply, getting visibly frustrated with him, 'my guests shouldn't have to remove the lid and contaminate the inside of the container to pour out the remaining two glasses of beverage.'

the boss man replies, 'like any gatorade container, you always have to lean it forward to get the rest of the liquid out.' o.m.g. clearly this man has never and will never host a baby shower. so i said, 'this isn't a plastic gatorade container, its a glass jar with a glass lid that could fall off and shatter.' the boss man has more to say, 'surely you noticed when you bought it, the position of the dispenser and where it was on the canister and that you were going to have to lean it forward to get all the liquid out.'

here is where i almost lost it. feeling helpless, i looked around for another boss man before replying to his smartypants comment, 'no, i didn't even think about that until i used it.' (did he call me 'stupid?') oh! the things i could have said but didn't! surely you sir, are aware that you are harassing me as your customer and making me never want to shop at target, a necessary evil in today's world, ever again! why didn't i think of that in the moment?

finally, he refunded my money. from now on, if something i need, but might return used, if it can be purchased elsewhere, it will be purchased elsewhere. why does target act like it is such an inconvenience for them?

i feel better now.